Fashion Statement

This past week my wife cut her hair the shortest it's ever been. It's new and she looks hot! I don't know what it is, but a woman's hair has always been a physical attribute that catches my eye. I have always thought I was a dark, long, healthy hair type of guy. But I was happily surprised at how good she looks with short hair.

So where am I going with this? This post isn't meant to be a discussion about which hair style is my favorite, but my wife's new doo prompts me to explore what motivates us married people to still feel the need to make ourselves attractive.

I'm aware that people like to look good because that's how they love themselves, feel confident, and prioritize their health. But let's keep it real, a reason, and for many the main reason why people get all done up is because they want to attract the people around them. That was my intention when I was single. I bought a nice outfit and went to the gym to try and get big and buff so when a PYT (pretty young thang) came my way, I would be equipped with the proper bait to reel her in.

But now that I’m married, what reasons should I have to keep myself up? Why should I go to the gym and hit the weights as hard? In a weird way wouldn’t I be more of a loyal husband if I just let myself go, get fat and only focus on the love of my wife and family? Wouldn’t I just be looking for temptation to come my way?

Some may say it’s a superficial topic; worrying about one’s external appearance, but to me it goes deeper than that. It addresses the need to shift one's intentions when becoming a husband. In my case it's probably going to take some time to rid myself of a single dude’s mentality and adopt the married man's book of intentions. I think the key though is not to change overnight, but to recognize the need to adjust.

Once again so many more questions with so many more guesses.

Until next time…

*Friday Night Lights*

It's a Friday night. The wife Charisse is out with her best friend at a Happy Hour at the Melting Pot (which is a great but very expensive restaurant). We rarely go out alone these days, so when an occasion comes up where she wants to go out with a couple of friends by herself, I don’t hesitate and actually encourage her to go. Of course I understand her need to take a break every now and then, but the real reason why I am so open to her going out is so she will have nothing to say when it’s my turn for a night out. Are these impure intentions? Maybe…but it keeps peace and we both get well deserved breaks from the family unit with the support of the other partner.

My son Bishop is at the in-laws spending time with his grandparents who severely miss him after not seeing him for a whole five days.

So it's just me and my 4 month old daughter Charlee at home.

***Charlee just woke up and I had to take a hour break from writing until I was able to feed her and put her back into her crib***

This is definitely a different Friday night I would've been having 3 years ago when I was a senior at UCLA. I would’ve been at my apartment in west LA preparing for a night out with the roomies. Dang those days seem so far ago. It feels like it’s been so long because I can’t really remember an entire nights events anymore, all I have are moments from different nights blurred together. Okay maybe alcohol has a little something to do with this to.

Things have definitely changed. I would've been hopping out of the shower, picking a nice collared shirt, some dark denims, and top it off with quick spray of cologne, but tonight, I'm making sure Charlee's water for her infant bath tub is just the right temperature, I’m deciding which onsee she'll be wearing for bed, and finishing her off with a couple of squeezes of baby powder. Instead of a night out surrounded by 100's of people inside a Hollywood club with blinding strobe lights and smoke machines, I’m here in the master bedroom of our house, laying down next to Charlee’s crib with the DJ’s music replaced by lullabies from her mobile and the club lights changed to a round night light that shines a mellow orangey red color faintly throughout the room.

My mind forces me to ask... which life is better?

If posed to my college roommates now, no question they would probably choose the party lifestyle and are probably at a club right now. But what good is it for my development as a young dad to dwell on that question? I could probably pick out some things that are better by being home with my child than at a club, like more money in my pocket at the end of the night or not having a hang over tomorrow morning. But are these points enough to validate where I am at in life? Is it better that I am a family man because I can save some money and don't have to take Tylenol in the morning? Should I be even trying to validate my life at all? So many questions, so many guesses.

Friday nights remind me that I am still transitioning from being a young man to being a young dad. I could've dropped Charlee off at my parents tonight and gone to the gym, but how would that have helped me become a better young dad? Instead I chose to end the day as most parents do…put our kids to bed.

On that note, SportCenter just came on so we'll end the night’s reflection on that.

ps. Young Dad does not condone the lacking of exercise in one's life, but that battle will be discussed in a later posting.

Until next time.